Thursday, October 6, 2011


Re-posted from 10/6/2011 due to accidental fat finger!

It's fairly easy to accumulate a growing list of frustrations as your previously obedient muscles no longer respond to visceral commands. Simple tasks you've always taken for granted like opening a plastic jar of peanut butter, removing the small square plastic thingy from the bag that contains your loaf of bread, and turning the knob on the fancy toaster you purchased at Williams and Sonoma, become an exercise in stamina and patience. You begin to question how badly you want that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and consider that using your teeth to tear the wrapper off a protein bar, although barbaric, might be the easier way to go.
Additionally, you decide that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if the cleaning lady suddenly developed a mild case of OCD and straightened the artwork hanging on the walls after she dusted them. It's nice to know she’s thorough, but does every piece need to be knocked off center just so I can obsess about it every Friday afternoon? I know, let it go... I'm pretty sure that someone else in this house will find it equally as irritating and set them level again anyway.

Then there's a whole list of frustrations related to dressing and undressing that make you want to live out the rest of your days in sweat pants and garments with Velcro closures. If your home alone, the sports bra you can pull over your head is going to win hands down over that fancy lace bra with underwire... and since your legs don't seem to move with the same sense of urgency your bladder has assigned to the task of getting to the nearest bathroom, why button that top button on your jeans and create another obstacle to completing that performance when the time comes?

Grooming tasks in general present a challenge: tweezing, shaving, clipping your nails, even using a hair dryer, brush, or comb can be frustrating. A good hair cut, a dab of gel and I'm letting Mother Nature take responsibility for the end result. Forget about trying to put on mascara or eyeliner unless its Halloween and it will be considered part of your costume, otherwise you're apt to frighten the children at the school bus stop with the mess you make of your face. A steady hand is required for that task and that's a thing of the past.

I realize it sounds like I've lowered the bar, and perhaps that's a little bit true, but some days you just have to pick your battles and save your energy for more important things like playing with your kids.

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