It's Been Too Long…

Several months have passed, the mild winter gave way to a warm spring, a searing hot summer, and this morning I snuggled under the covers as crisp autumn air filled the room.  Quite a lot has changed since last winter; I hardly know where to begin...

We landed in a beautiful ranch home, on the perimeter of a small suburban subdivision, adjacent to an expanse of farmland that reminds me of growing up in the Garden State.  Most days I am at peace, as I work within my limitations, and surrender worry to hands far bigger and stronger than mine. All that I need has been provided and then some... much more than I could imagine, and much more than I deserve.  I realize these are all gifts. 

We did not get here on our own, there are countless pairs of hands and feet that carried us. The list of overdue thank you notes is overwhelming. I have not lost my manners, but my hands betray me. I am so grateful for each of you, you know who you are... Don't give up on me!

We attended a "voluntary" wellness screening last weekend, where they take your vital signs, draw blood, and everyone reports on how many servings of fruits and vegetables they eat a day. In my condition, this strikes me as nothing short of humorous. Most of my meals are consumed through a feeding tube, it's been a while since I could honestly describe my exercise routine as cardio, and how do I respond to questions such as, "How ready are you to make changes in your lifestyle to improve your resistance to germs?" … Seriously?

Okay, I'll play along, but do they really think these surveys have value? Are they really collecting useful data? I stand firmly on the position that health nuts find it affirming and the rest of us have a skewed perception of what qualifies as a serving vegetables!

Nonetheless, one question did get me thinking... it went something like this...   Do you belong to a group or organization where you feel you are making a contribution?  Now we're getting somewhere! Isn't that what makes us thrive? Isn't that what makes us get out of bed in the morning when we could otherwise pull the covers over our heads and go back to sleep? Normally a question like this would get my mind dancing, but on that particular morning, sitting in my wheelchair, it was convicting. 

Almost instantly, one of my favorite verses slipped into consciousness  "For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required." -- Luke 12:48 or in The Message translation:  ... Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities. An immense sense of gratitude washed over me, followed in equal measure  by a healthy dose of Catholic guilt, the remains of old programing. Who am I to be so fortunate and while I sit here consuming resources, how am I making a contribution? How can I make good use of the time and capabilities I have left? 

One week has passed since I began writing this post, the process is slow, as I toil daily the typing leads to fatigue, but I press on hoping to find the answer... 

Today I conclude with this challenge… Despite the struggle to speak, weakened muscles and uncooperative hands, vow to bless one person a day, to love them, to demonstrate one random act of kindness, and focus on what I can do, not what I cannot...