Time To Call The Plumber!

Okay, there's no getting through this without grace, humility, and lots of humor... 
So it was time to put on my big girl panties and call the plumber.

Going back about fourteen months, I began to notice a sense of urgency. At the time we were still playing "What's My Disease?" and for the moment, I was being treated for Lyme's Disease, with a daily regimen of self administered antibiotics via a central pic line in my arm. I was told the medication was strong and it could have side effects, so just in case, I mentioned my symptoms to the nurse, on my weekly visit;
we ran some tests but nothing turned up.

Months passed and we had a name for my disease, but I was told it spared the plumbing so I occasionally requested another test, but to no avail. This pattern continued for a few more months, until I decided to ask my gynecologist on my annual visit. She asked a few questions, drew me a rough sketch of the female parts while providing something of an anatomy lesson, using phrases like "This is where the pee is, and this is where the poop is...". 

Seriously, I can't manufacture fodder this entertaining; perhaps I appeared to have arrived via the short bus, in any case it was amusing, she ordered more tests and referred me to someone better equipped to help me with my problem, the plumber.

Apparently, plumbers of human pipes are as busy as the regular ones, so I was offered the first available appointment some six weeks later, and my problem continued to worsen. My legs were progressively becoming harder to move and my bladder, harder to control; this was heading in a bad direction.

Finally, the day came and I was filled with hope that relief from this socially unacceptable behavior was within reach. The doctor looked a bit like Christina Yang on Grey's Anatomy, and projected a much kinder disposition; the combination was both comforting and reassuring in odd way, as I lay exposed for examination. She poked around in much the same fashion as her predessor with a new twist...    

A Kegel? Sure, I know what that is... Oh, you want me to do some now? Of course, I can do that. Yes... I know it's not a leg exercise, let me try again. Sheesh! I'm glad we cleared that up...

She described a few different ways bladder issues can present in patients, some of the likely causes and respective treatments, none for which I felt any particular kinship.  And most certainly not the one where she surgically creates some kind of flap to support a worn out muscle, I'll do Kegels from sun up to sun down to avoid attending that surgical event!

So, she explained, we will start with some medication and see how that works, and if that doesn't help, there are some additional tests we can set up. One is a flow test and the other is a Urodynamic study, but let's wait on the Big Fancy test; we won't do that if the medication works.

The nurse came in to follow up with the RX, provide paperwork that describes the two tests that would be possible next steps, along with my homework assignment a Void Diary. That was a clever name for a journal to record every ounce of intake and output including any spillage along the way...

So now I had to document the whole embarrassing ordeal, and return with my shameful diary, but it didn't end there!

Stay tuned for the next episode when we explore The Big Fancy Test!