I Believe...

Have you ever noticed the power Santa garners this time of the year? If you are a parent of young children, I’m pretty sure you do… and I’m guessing you too, have used it to your advantage.

It seems that magically around Thanksgiving, when all of the stores begin to look like Santa’s workshop, children are much more aware of their behavior; they become unusually attentive, obedient and even more affectionate, generously  tossing “I love you Momma” the way they used to toss Cheerios off the tray on their high chairs!

If you haven’t seen this change, you have not done your part to foster the myth. Try playing your favorite version of "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" and be sure to sing along loudly. Better yet, encourage them to sing with you, and teach them the lyrics. It seems regardless of age, these clever little humans, have the cognitive power to grasp the concept and then…you’ve got them right where you want them! Once mastered, it’s nearly blissful from mid November through December!

Now, if for some reason this is not working, and assuming you’ve done your part, technology can help you. There’s a website where you can create a personalized video, and send it to your child from Santa. Speaking from experience this works like a charm! Google PNP (Portable North Pole) Santa and get working on it right away, it’s already December 7^th after all, and you don’t have much time left!

By now you’re thinking …Where is she going with this, and how does it relate to ALS? Well…while thinking about this phenomenon the past few days, and seeing tangible results, my mind wandered off to the premise, that we are all children of God, and much like we teach our children about Santa: He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake, He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake… as the lyric goes, many of us are also brought up with the concept that God, is all knowing and omnipotent, and one day we will all be accountable for our actions; for some of us… that day will come sooner rather than later.

So, the question is, has that belief impacted my behavior?  Sadly, no…I cannot say that knowing this has always influenced my actions, and I can’t even say that since learning of my diagnosis, and the inevitable prognosis, I have significantly changed for the better, but my priorities have changed…

December 10, 2010, the morning following news of my diagnosis, I was lying in bed after spending most of the night sleepless, weeping in my husband’s arms, and the phone rang. It was early, but looking at the caller ID, I could see it was a close friend, who knew I would likely be awake, and I was pretty sure she was checking to see how the doctor’s appointment went the previous afternoon, so I picked it up.

I’m not sure of what I said, or how she could even understand me with all of the waterworks going on, but I do remember something she shared with me, that helped shape my outlook as the dust settled in the months to follow… thank you my friend.

She told me that Elizabeth Edwards had died just a few days before, on December 7^th 2010, and she read me an excerpt from this statement on her Facebook page, the day before she passed. I have included the full text below and bolded the excerpt.

You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces -- my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined. The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know.

With love,

Elizabeth

December 6, 2010

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Oddly, she died one year ago today as I am writing this, and the excerpt is really all that I can remember from that phone call, but the text is rich with wisdom that has carried me through the past twelve months. 

We all know that eventually we will pass, and for those of us who believe in God, we know He’s watching, and there will be accountability, but we also know that we are human and fallible and we are forgiven.

So, while I know my time here will end sooner than I had anticipated, I take comfort in the opportunity to spend my remaining time finding ways to savor the moments, to leave nothing unsaid, and love without limits…because in the end, that’s all that really matters, and having this time is a blessing because... I believe.